Then, alas, She was gone! Gone away like Her death! Gone away like someone dropped the rising-curtain on my life and I felt myself coldNoutside again, like when you go for the newspaper on a bitter winter's morning and, dang! you locked yourself out, languidly succumbing to the indifference... We seemed to move forward, violent as your pocket-book: as I passed-on to our exit, I saw the red of Her bark, Her face in Janet's agony knowing in my trying to find Her, trying to hold on to the One whom I most rhymed with, I could never buy till I died. And now that I'm here in the Crystalline Spheres (alluding to Paradise Lost), I felt highly 'outwitted', shall we say, by my Beloved One; feeling extremely frustrated, I was quite ready to say a bad word for this thotless culpability! "Write back if you're interested in pursuit, copper." For I wanted Her 'ignis fatuus' intrigue, Her colossal bombardment to fill us, Her visually appealing, zealous spark to ignite the congregation once again. I felt lost as the gecko on the streets of NYC, far from down-under - like when you're four-years-old and you're misplaced at Sears: you look up, only to see towering humans above you who don't give a rat's-ass if you're ever found. Why this? Why now? Doom. Dispair. Heartache. Oh, where for art thou, Juliet? How long have I waited for thy return to fuel the civilizations of Shakespeare...
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"Electric, biorhythmic nonsense in thy wee head; I heard your thoughts, my son, and thought you were nearly dead. Don't weep, for thine hour is not yet come, ask of Me, and you shall certainly receive thy greatest sum," He sed. Umm, "Waaay cool, subdued purple, dude. I'm greatly honored." Imagine an extra-vagant mountain bigger than the sun, yet, His focus was not the Trinity on earth, but a TRI-angle focused on me... a male voice?? "Why'd you leeeve? Bring her back! Bring back the female Voice you've been playin' inside yer rusty innards." Chuckling, "Son, I never left. I made the universes. It was YOU who left me beside her." You like Steve Miller? He went completely over my head. "Anyway, thank God you're here," I mumbled. "Been lookin' for you... whomever is you inside this mag-nificent tree, so, please, talk back to me. This'd make a great movie for Heaven, don't you agree?" wandering-off inside my oblivious mind. "THIS is the realm of fantastic dreams and realities, is it not?" "Yes, yes, my dear boy! You should see summa the beautifull spaceships I made just for you both to sail beyond. They're incredible... just like her," in His child-like-nature and candor. "WOW! I bet! Let's do that soon... umm, I mean, anytime... We have eternity to spend together, so it wouldn't be like I'd be late, Pops. But, first, I must her I love her vis-à-vis," looking away wistfully. I mouthed, "My Jaybird who came Upstairs in October 1985. You're not her, are you?" "No, my son. I'm literally not. But, yet, as you learned in Catechism, I'm everything. Everything you'd ever imagine, I AM," spreading His wholly, magnificent branches farNwide. "Tell me something, son. You're where you are at the present hour because... ?" Very interesting how He began with Pink Panther. "My head injury had taught me there's a 'rope' to the Great Beyond - a stairway if ya believe Led Zepplin; if the 'rope' is going every-whicha-way, you lose sight of your goal, which should be for everyone, Paradise. Many people have given their souls any number of fatal wounds by their belief in the transitory." "And how old were you when you finally figured this out?" "Lemme give you a quote, k?" "Fire away." "First, I truuuly believe you made'm that way so I'd have nuthin on earth." "Partially." "In the midst of winter, I suddenly found there was in me an invincible summer - Kamoo." "Bravo! Spelled it like an ugly American!" "That's for the uneducated." "Oh," as God chuckled (He turned-off His x-ray-spex looong ago). "You turned it around to become the comedy/tragedy which will now benefit our dramatic existence: that lost planet is but a passing world for the dead; the breathing are only transgressors in this unfullfilled, unanswered sanctuary. To trust thy revolution, you must thy resolution. Ya think I'm an oxymoron?" "Puh-leeeze! That's not meant to be a personal pronoun, but, YES! and a very awesome one, too!" "Though the storm clouds of life may be in our way, the Son is always there, wouldn'tya agree?" "Touché, mon fils." I felt the ground rumble and fireworks go-off above me - they were, of course, entirely weird though the most lovely you ever saw. The colours? No name for those colours, toots, and naming'm the primary shades would do 'em a world of skeletal inhumanity.
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With a quick pawse and completely changing the subject, as the last, mighty rocket rose with gallant caprice, disappearing into the midnight sun, He sed, "Do you have any faith?" Whoa. All my life, from the deepest agnostic to where I didn't believe in polytheism, I had some sorta faith, the accident just made it stronger. So that apparently ain't what He meant. "Seeing as that you can read my thots like a neuropsychologist with a PhD, ask me in a different way." The enormous tree took a deep breath. "You miss her, right, and about 99 billion others like her?" Getting carried-away like the battle of Midway where the fighting was fierce like a wildcat on steroids. Sayeth I, "Oh, man. How much I wanna love, twenty-four-seven, in the glorious expanse of Heaven; I wanna serve them: young, mature, teens, Seka and Miss Miyagi," my pressing against the tree didn't help. Sigh, "I wannum to know the thots I've carried like a bloody weight that wouldn't ever give-up for many years, still hasn't; I wanna hold 'em to caress 'em and tell'm I love'm and cherish'm... kiss her beautifull feet with toenails the colour of the sun going down in the Pacfic with us sitting on a park bench." "Tell me more. I'm intrigued." "MORE?? Not much more to tell, Pops. I just wanna love them and tell them I'm very gratefull to be withem, alive, Upstairs - " "John 3:36" "Amen. I'd say, 'I'd be most honored to serve you and gratify you with kisses, Wonder Woman'," closing my eyes. "Feed her those purple grapes, big as a hand in the Great Beyond no doubt, fresh kiwi slices, fresh baklava, Starbuxxx ice cream, rice-pudding, chocolate-with-almonds, while we drink our fuzzy-navels and slow-dance, give her a sooothin' backrub and brush her hair while I whisper sweet-nuthins in her sweet ears..." sighing and wishing summore. "THAT, my friend, that's B4play." "Love to have the mature women/schoolboy scenario, don't you? Dominant/submissive? Don't think your thoughts didn't ascend, too, boy." "Everything, Pops, even the lingerie, couch fantasy where we make-out for hours. So, when I love gorgeous Hanna Hilton, she'll greet me at the door and say, 'Wanna go fish?' with her rodNreal ready." Chuckling, "Congrats, son! You're completely nuts. Welcome to the Insane Asylum. Got everything set, don'tcha?" "Yep. And why not? With my mortal injury, I had puh-lenty of time to dream; I'm also VERY thankfull you chose this sinfull mortal to grow-up withe parents I had: VERY adept at bolo-knee." "Exactly. Same level of Deputy Dawg, same as the dichotomy of dysfunction: pheed thy narcissism. You know why, bat-crazy?" Wrinkly face. "The reason I chose you was precisely the fact your parents were so dysfunctional; thus, in time, you learned to rely on thy King of Hearts for everything in that very entertaining, very irritating, Finite Existence." " ...which made me staunch and steadfast?" God nodded. "Took you some time, but with sporadic prayer and service, we were victorious - we never gave up on each other. The earth, as you saw in your younger years, was quite insincere, quite hollow, except for the Abyss." Making the Sign of the Cross. "You were never in any real danger with your stanky, blasphemous pharts." That perked my ears up real quick: "WHAT ... ???" "Think about it, dude. What's mankind's greatest weakness? The hot-dawg in the tulips." I guffawed. "My point isn't sexual innuendo, but, given your bright mind, you deduced to 'look-up'." Making the Sign of the Times. "You could've powered your bicycle on the way to Lawrence!!" Never knew how a tree could laugh, now I do. "Yes, I assure you, son, your Bride's here, preparing a house for botha youse; actually, one of many as you'll mountain bike to each one along the fifty-billion-mile-cir-cumference." "Mountain bike's rule." "Or there's many other possibilities in the cards, like, flying... on a magic carpet. 'I AM' quite capable of anything." Egad! No way! "Love my 'God Speed', dude. Remember when I first rode her after my accident in Carbondale, Il at seventeen? Felt like a groovy, symbiotic relationship had developed." "Precisely. A vicious circle. Same with our friendship: IOU. Sad how few realize that. Tell you a secret," God whispered. Cupping my auditory canal, I leaned close. "Naturally, the egg came first..." Here we go again, as my eyes went sky-high. "How so?" "Because if you DON'T have an egg, how can anything evolve to grow? Again, how can you have a chicken for dinner without the egg? But, yet, some'd say, 'You must have the chicken TO lay the eggs.' No, no, no. They think like human beans. How did the chicken get there first of all?? An egg. Thus, coming from the egg sprouted a chicken, dude. My All-mighty, Adequate Conclusion, ergo, was she had to have sprung from a seed. That seed was an egg." "That's... beyond me, Pops." "Thought so. Listen-up, son. Gotta lotta to tell youse in these Final Pages of this Final Chapter." My thots still on the young woman who brot me here, I sed, "Will she still like me after all this time? Perhaps she's found a new boyfriend?" "Don't worry," He laughed. "She's always had one." He cleared His throat. "But, seriously, folks, as I stand-up here on this Vaudville-stage of your existence, only 35 feet across, I have faith in you, too. Remember, I made you, so no matter if you don't believe and you're going to Hell, your immortal soul will still seek Me out for the Last Time - whether or not it will be accepted, however, remains for those who seek My Father's Will on earth. Understand, ya gun-slingin-snafu?" I grabbed the BIG-OL Cottonwood. Thank God. "Remember, too, Janet came here withe knowledge that, among her friends, we were her everything. No, she hasn't changed, son. Everything here remains the same for eternity." "Thank you, Lord Jesus -your humble servant," Laughing, "You literally lived your faith - you rode a mountain bike everywhere. Not because you couldn't drive, because you WOULDN'T. Few have the courage. They're too afraid of what others will say - specially loved your sign in Salina, KS which you proudly paraded down Main Street before you croaked:
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'I wouldn't rape your Mother,
why hurt mine?
You can STOP global warming
on Mother Earth'
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"Geedarn, I complete forgut, Paw." "I didn't. I had to send out two, extra legions of angels to keep'm from jumping you; with your steel-tip-jumpboots, though, you thought you was invincible. Lookit me. Speeekin like dem hillbilly's." Quickly, "Hillbilly's rule... after WWIII, though, they were the kings on Harleys." "Got a point, son. Nevertheless, you were always thinking of how you could make the world a better place; you've always shown Me, though people always assumed, you won't be controlled nor conformed by the world: didn't love the smell of money, you loved what was waiting for eternity through giving to the poor, making use of the knowledge and skills which I provided - even wrote three novels for My sake. Lemme have summa that," as a branch came down, giving me high-5. "Because," God continued, "you weren't restrained either by your speech nor your testosterone, you slept around some, but quit because life's short and you were afraid of being condemned. In your later years... Need I go on?" "For the liberals out there? Why not?" "You call yourself a pariah? Not. I call it using the cranium which I gave you. You had no home because your Home was here. Because you're one of the few to inherit this, I give you Saint Gertrude's quote to the full. Next question. Know where the salt from your tears comes from?" Bloody ol noggin shook. "From Noah's ocean. I was so damm sad, I cried for forty days and forty nights when I had to separate the adults from the youths. I washed the attitudes of the earth away to start again." Gasped did I --- We talked and talked and talked about weird, zany, Joe-Dirt-schtuff (can't forget the Jetson's) till the sophisticated sun got all twilighty and the temperature dropped about ZERO - and thar it stayed, about seventy degrees; sitting out on the back porch under the tree, lookin' at the far-off sea, warm and very shallow even in the middle, without alla them dagnasty mosquitos!! Alleluia!! I reflected on how good the Trinity is to stoop down and give this sinfull mortal the elixir of Eternal Life. Happy, happy, happy... till I fell asleep.
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Just before the break o'day, I felt something bump into me; I realized, in my daze, I had knocked into my ostentatious canine. Immediately, he pharted. Great. Dogs are the worst: they're sticky and engaged. So, holding my nose, I prayed the Hail Mary. Looking at His clock, the Love of God is pure energy, 6:11 am. Slept through the night, too. "When did you arrive, Oliver?" "A little after 1," dozing silently. "Lemme sleep, man," as he fell into dreams like a full-sprint-flatliner. I never!!! Sitting-up, I proclaimed, "And what were you doing, young man, at such a late hour, hmmmm??" in a firm voice. "Duuude," rolling his handsome, Schnauzer eyes, sitting-up, fully awake. "Oh, dude. I found the most delicious scent on the other side of the mountain. She has a finely-tuned, Greyhound-bod, long eyelashes, and a world of Kliff Notes on the manufactured illiteracy of the demodogs. You'd looooove her." "You can tell alla this by her scent??" "Yep. I must follow her costly perfume, influence her through diplomatic solutions, man," as he lifted his head and howled. Unbelievable. I could tell he was getting hot-under-the-collar. I asked him to step outside: the other animules were just getting up, a pleasant lull permeated everything at this early hour, ready to start their 'Griswold-vacation-day' eternally. The BIG-OL tree shaded us through the night, Her branches in a cerebral 'cocoon'; I did what little Tai Chi I knew, Ollie yawned and stretched. I saw my God Speed, John Glenn, untouched and ready, purring like a kitten. Lovely kitten. I also found many PowerBars on a rock and three bottles of Fruitopia nearby - I offered one to my cynically fantastic dawg. "Coo-wool, dude. Thanks. And, hey, BigBoy, can I have the other one, too?" he requested a snug, fanny-pack for his waist which dropped outta the sky. "Gotta carry'm somehow," he muttered with his dexterity. "No time to wait for love!!" as he was off. Like a racehorse in a cloud of dust amid the cheers from the crowd!! Just the puurfect gift for someone you love: I knew just who he was gonna give the other one to. I grinned from ear-to-ear. "YOU GO, BOY! I LOVE YOU!! GO AND MAKE A FAMILY!!!" shouting above the stream which was gurgling in her simple joy to gurgle. "God bless them and those precious, adorable pups..." sighing, knowing She's gonna give in to me in Her own, sweet time. Just gotta wanna be patient. Turning back toward the BIG-OL tree, "Groovy morning as usual, God." Grimacing, "No end to them, I'm afraid." Like the maker of Converse, I chuckled all the Way to the BIG-OL bank. "And how are we today? Usually awesome or awesome as usual?" He laughed, coughing, as He cleared His throat. "Sit down, please, over here. Near the tree. Good. Lissen... animals gotta reproduce Upstairs, too, ya know; though I could make 10,101 plus baby Schnauzers withe snap of My finger, it'd be a MON-sterous waste to make that many and I don't like to see animals 'die' without love. Besides," *koff* "I'd muuuch rather let the natural order of things take place, like a 'laissez-faire-highlights' magazine." He's completely nuts. "I heard that, son. Some people are priests forever, like Malchizedek, while others prefer to make love in the physical realm. Both serve My purpose very well in My world." "How so?" perplexed (just gettin' up didn't help, either). "Boy, you're bright. You cannot have one without the other: priests/Sacrificial Rite of Baptism vs. non-laity... well... you get My point, n'est-ce pas?" Nodding with a YESSIR!!! that could be heard on the lower levels of Heaven. God was light-years-ahead... again. "So, in the first, charming morning of the Great Beyond, when the overhead of running My Business isn't so FX anymore, what would you consider the most intrinsic fact, the most inherent realism?" "Intrinsic, ya say?" thinking for only a few miliseconds, as the neurons delved deep into my gnarly, gray matter; yes, amid the neurological narcolepsy they delved and shuddered, the Blue-Light-Special went on!! I closed my eyes with, "The unholy cannibal, Jeffery Dahmer, left his impression on those he ate was finished with a hearty belch?" "Like a Pac-Man?? What made you think of that?" "The lights." "Holy-Toledo, you're a weird-o." "While underneath, lurked a cold, malicious killer: the women whom he slicedNdiced like Jap cooks, sed he appeared sane." "Waiting for the 'coup d'état'," dry as the Saraha. "Didn't you leave an impression on us? As the One who was born in a feeding trough to become transubstantiation could tell ya, less is more?" ..."Your subconscious, hereditary intent is?" "Your love knows no bounds: Jeff repents, You accept. Done good, Paw?" 'moo-vin' on up' -Weeezy "Okay. Remember this. My love is always there, right? Free will is, too. Don't think just because I love you that'll save ya. I'll still love ya as you kill at the post office, as you sleep behind your wife's back with a whore, as you fly into the WTC. That's a one-way-ticket down if you refuse repentance, dude, for both U.S. and the jihadists. Never, ever do I say killing is cool. My everlasting mercy is there for the taking: I hope you'll repent at the Last Moment before you die to wash your soul clean and hang-it-out-to-dry...
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"Again, what's the very first definition in thy mortally-thin-dictionary?" "The letter A?" "Right, for Adam, for an indefinate article. And what's the last?" "My guess? There isn't." "Everything on earth has an end, son. For your mortally-thin-dictionary? The tropical, American weevil, the bitchin' Zyzzyva," letting these thots slowly sink in, like when a thick fog hangs o'er the ground at Gettysburg before the battle or like the DRI concert at the Outhouse. "The reason so few people make it Upstairs anymore is precisely this: they don't wanna try to learn to 'READ' the truth - they don't wanna know how to love by abstaining...
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"Again, feel sorrow for them who don't have any respect for religion; they're trapped in this chronic-arthritis-world by their ignorance. Non-believers in My Son are like particle board: alright for simple cabinet making and behind the scenes in the dark, but ever see a HOUSE made up of that capillary material in the daylight?? When the wind blows, you know how it goes. Structural collapse. Falls in without any meatNbones that brot you here. You're that house, son, and I love you. Grace flows like a river from the spring IF only you'd rely on the stone to sit upon made by Jesus is His ocean of faith. Yes, I hate to say it: this blog through your lives has certainly conquered and will divide. Tickets for the omnipresent bus are free. Get on board. And I ain't got all day...
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"Again, think of a pile of sand. Think of how many atoms there are in just one, visible grain. Billions. The beach at Rockaway Park, NY? 77,755 nonillion. I counted. The whole earth? The whole small universe? More than you know. My point is - " "Whoa. That's a lot." "Amen. If one sand particle equals all those atoms combined, think of the universe and beyond. Infinity. That's how much I love each one of you; that's how long you may stay... for eternity. That's Heaven Above. That's also Hell." As I looked around at this extraordinary gorgeousness, I shook my noggin. "Why do people go to Hell?" "Basically, free will. Nevertheless, I amaze even myself sometimes. After all, I AM who should be after eternity." "You know what I say, don't you?" "Nope. Do tell." "Two words. Stu. Pid. And they don't even HAVE a head injury!!!" "The bawls in the head you mean. Most people are sitting on the fence in this dark dayNage. Loving it, too! Afraid of offending a few! No, this will never do! You cannot go pussy-footing along like that and expect Heaven. Either jump-ship, jump to either side, or jump for joy." "Ex-actly." "If Drew Brees had a weak arm, aren't I AM capable of harvesting the fleur-de-lis to growNconquer over the dirty hoof? Go over yonder," as He pointed to the distance opposite where I was. A clearing suddenly opened twenty yards from me...
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Up there, up on a cloud it seemed, stood a massive, inviting, silver/biege castle with turrets, pennants, and flags flapping joyfully in the breeze; the mooonsterously-huge-castle went on for miles: bike trails went in every direction with a wide, blue drawbridge for parties. Goldangit, Paw. Had to close my jaw again. Did I go through all this, having a head injury, having a stutter when young, them thinking I'm tard after, having a verbally abusive sister, for sitting on a CLOUD playing the HARP for etermity????? Ha. Don't think so.
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My precious girl who suffered so much was tiny from where I stood, yet, she was larger than life: dressed in white from her cool beret to her Converse 'cept for the dark, rich, John-Lennon-sunglasses. She, was, stunning. Beautifull in her humility, looking very simple, yet, very lovely, soft-to-the-core, insideNout (Upstairs, BTW, people who looked good on earth will look goood). With her arms outstretched to welcome me home, I slowly walked toward her as if in a daze. This moment will last forever - wish I had a camera. Then, dum-me, I remembered my bike.
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But, yet, I just stood there, my muscular bod in this sleeveless T not responding to a neurotic neuron; my mouth and I seeming to have two, separate lives, as it went agape again like my poor brain who was waving at me across the brazen, sunny field with flowers; this vision-of-lovely I had died for, I had finally reached, at last accomplished crossing the Finish Line in my Miss BarbWire, coma-like-adversity. I awoke for the last time.
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"I love you, my Lord!!," shouted eye in my erupting excitement, as I rode straight-toward-Heaven. "You go, white boy! Solid!!" deep and quiet, like an intoxicating river on her endless voyage to the sea; unobtrusive and gentle as a canvas of the Loire. The welcoming tree slowly disappeared and, as she slowly exhaled a sigh, she slowly languished in Her passion.
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As we stood by the loon-filled-moat in the twilight, we heard a dove on a cattail. I gave her the wedding ring - she looked into my eyes and that sed it all. Taking my hands, she lead me away across the lucrative, perennial sands of Heaven.
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-Blessed Efficacious
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